The Unexpected Cost

Choose wisely...

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to become a writer. It’s been a powerful dream that stuck with me over the years. Being the young, naïve lad I was, I thought it simply meant that you sat in front of a computer and wrote. Yes, that’s part of it, but as I began down this path I learned there’s much more to it than that. If you’re going to write, it’s going to cost you something. Writing takes lots of hard work and dedication. The more you focus on honing your skills, the less time you have for other things in life. There is a cost in pursuing your dreams, and there are things you will have to sacrifice in order to reach it.

First let’s get this out of the way: you can’t sacrifice your personal relationships. Being a husband is the most important job I have, and if I have to choose between being a writer or a good husband, I’m picking being a good husband. Likewise, family and friends are vital to your emotional wellbeing and shouldn’t be forgotten in the pursuit of writing. You might not be able to go to every event with your friends and family, but you can’t disregard them.

Also, you can’t sacrifice reading books and articles. Reading is how you develop your vocabulary, as well as cultivate your imagination. By reading the works of others, you’re exposed to different writing techniques and storytelling that will help shape your voice on the page. Reading gives your brain a workout and prepares you for structuring your own story and helps you through mental blocks.

Everything else is totally fair game for cutting down in your life. This includes television and video games, two things that are near and dear to my heart. The more I pursue writing, the more I’ve come to terms in eliminating these out of my life. Let me be the first to tell you, this is painful. Television and video games aren’t evil; in fact, I think they’re enjoyable and useful to wind down with after a long and frustrating day. But if you’re not careful, they have a habit of controlling your free time.

Back when I was a kid, I thought being an adult meant I could play video games as much as I wanted without being weighed down by schoolwork. As soon as I finished college, I dived headlong into my childhood passion and became a hardcore gamer. I collected all the retro games I wanted as a child, and played the newest releases that caught my fancy. I joined gaming forums, subscribed to gaming podcasts, and read up on all the upcoming releases. It was a joyous time, beating games I wanted to play to their completion.

Yet I never forgot about my dream to become a writer. As I worked my janitorial job, not doing anything worthwhile in my life, a small voice called out to me. “You were meant for more than this,” it said, as I dusted shelves and took out trash. “There’s more to life than this, you just have to pursue it.” As the voice nagged at me, I realized I couldn’t ignore the call forever so I enrolled for a masters degree program for scriptwriting. I worked on writing, but I still played games on a daily basis.

A year into the program, I had a conversation with Nick Hayden of Children of the Wells. I didn’t know him too well, but he cohosted a monthly storytelling podcast called Derailed Trains of Thought with my good friend Timothy Deal, which is still going strong to this day. We were talking about video games one day, as I figured he was a fellow gamer based on subjects he’d talk about on the podcast. He went on to tell me that he stopped playing video games almost entirely, so he could concentrate on writing. I distinctly remember thinking to myself, “Uh oh, is this what I’ll have to do one day in order to be a writer?”

As I wrestled with the final project for my Masters, I reached a crossroads of sorts. I could either keep playing my games every day and make writing a minor part of my life, or I could pursue writing with all of my heart and passion. I knew if I continued wavering in this decision, I’d never get anywhere as a writer and never accomplish my dream of publishing novels. Yet I still loved video games and the pleasure they gave me to explore these fantastic imaginary worlds. I weighed both options on a mental scale, pondering the merits of both. I had a lot of friends who were into gaming, and by sacrificing it I wouldn’t be as well versed in gaming news and opinions when we would chat.

After a long and agonizing struggle, I knew I had to follow my calling and set video games aside. I wouldn’t abandon them completely, but a life change was necessary. It’s like eating, I love junk food and the comfort it gives me, but a diet of junk food isn’t healthy. So just like junk food, video games needed to become an occasional activity.

I still play games with my friends, and I love showing my nephew Liam new games every time I visit him in Kentucky. Those moments mean a lot to me, especially with Liam, because I remember the wonder games gave me at that age. I had a conversation with Nick a few weeks ago about this subject, and discovered that he’s been introducing his children to the games he loved as a teenager. There’s something special and bonding about showing the next generation of children the magic of video games. But we both learned from experience that there has to be a balance between gaming and writing, and writing needs to come first.

So if you want to become a writer or artist, you’re going to have to sacrifice some activities that you love. That means you might not be able to join in the conversations about the latest hit TV show or video game with your friends and coworkers. It’s a small price to pay, but playing games and watching TV don’t write novels. Novels are written by sitting down, pushing the world away, and doing. So go write, you can do it! I have faith in you.  What activities in your life might you need to sacrifice to make writing a priority?